Created

Mothers in the Middle is designed to support working and stay-at-home moms who are struggling to combine multiple identities. This journey is a difficult one, made even more difficult if we don't identify a compass. The compass that guides us is the truth that comes from our Creator manifested in the person of Jesus Christ.

Here's why this point is foundational. Relying on the truth of the Creator establishes that we are created beings. Our births, lives, and deaths are not random. Our gender was not random. Our marriage was not random. Our kids were not random. The Scripture makes it clear that God made us with a purpose.

Let's start with gender. Genesis 1:27 explains, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

As I carried, labored, and mothered my kids, I often felt resentful of my husband and of my God. "Why did I have to be born a woman?" I asked. I puked nearly every day of my first pregnancy. My labor with this child lasted over 24 hours. Then I abandoned nearly all of my professional ambitions to nurse and care for her. My husband was extremely supported. He helped out in almost every way. But I watched him leave for work every morning and resented that he hadn't given up his career. He didn't spent all day, every day with his children. "Why?" I asked again, "Why was I born a woman?"

This is the sort of self-pity that makes us forget what we know is true. We know that mothers have a special role in the lives of their children. God created you female on purpose. You have special ways of interacting with your kids that are unique to you. God wanted you to be the mother in their lives. I think there is little doubt that raising young children can be especially grueling for mothers. There is probably little doubt that most families could use a little more shared responsibility between mothers and fathers. But none of this negates the fact that God created you. He has a special role for you. Part of that role includes whether or not only whether he made you a mother or a father, but what kind of mother and father you are. Stay tuned for more on that point.

Identity Search

Most new moms will say they experienced some loss of identity even as they gained a new identity as a mother. Particularly stay-at-home moms who sometimes loathe the question, "What do you do?", feel a loss of their former selves.

To begin to resolve any conflicts of identity, look back. Remember who you were before becoming a mother or a wife. What were your gifts? Your ambitions? Your hobbies? Your dreams? Give yourself some time to remember.

Now, think about how those things can contribute to your mothering? God made you a special kind of person, and he also made you a special kind of mother. Are you a feisty, competitive gal or are you a mellow, laid-back lady? Are you gifted in visual arts or music? Are you a gifted athlete? Are you a natural motivator or a natural encourager?

God has not asked you to abandon your identity in motherhood. He wants you to use your identity as a child of God to serve your family and your children.

What is a Mom in the Middle?

A Mom in the Middle is a woman who may feel torn. On one hand, she wants to devote herself to her home. She wants to be a good wife and mother. Whether she is working outside the home or not, a mom in the middle wants to contribute to the welfare of her family in a domestic, traditional sense.

And yet, on the other hand, for one reason or the other, a mom in the middle wants to thrive beyond this domestic role. Whether she needs to work to support her family financially or whether she wants to work to develop her own professional life, she finds herself living a dual life—a professional, even progressive woman on one hand and a domestic, even traditional woman on the other. These roles may seem like dual lives, but they are not duel-ling lives. They do not have to be at war with each other.

Mothers in the Middle are devoted to supporting women who feel this tension. We want to expose this tension not as a negative space, but as a creative space. It is the space where women are carving out their own identities.

A woman's devotion to her interests outside the home contribute to the kind of mother she is inside the home. And the role of wife and mother invigorate the kind of woman she is outside the home. Rather than feeling torn and anxious, we want moms in the middle to embrace who they are and use their gifts and talents in their families, in their workplace, and in their communities.

Mothers in the Middle

Welcome to Mothers in the Middle, a blog devoted to mothers sandwiched between two wonderful and challenging tasks: thriving inside and outside the home. Please join our conversation. Your voice can help us transform the conversations about the meaning of motherhood.